AusChamps2022: “Who the F*%@#!*&K is Mako?

These five words were heard in the marshalling tent at the beginning of the 2022 Australian Championships. They were not heard by the end of the campaign. And here’s why.

Mako’s journey to debut at the 2022 AusChamps is a story that may be captured on pieces on paper, but no words can retell the story of one of the greatest adventures of all times. It is a story of heart, brotherhood, revelations, unexpected twists and turns, the best seats in the house, the chaos of repechage and heads broken off dragon boats.

The Plan

• Compete at our very first Nationals with a skeleton crew of 26
• Race our hearts out, laugh and have a cracking time
• Experience racing at the highest level and learn as much as possible
• Get as deep into the tournament as possible, expecting to be out early and watching the best crews in the country duke it out in the Grand Finals

What Actually Happened

Getting there

With flights cancelled or delayed across the country, storm cells over Sydney, flood water crossings to Canberra, COVID cases popping up within the club and acquaintances, we knew getting the crew to Day 1 Nationals was a long shot. Kerrie Williams was knocked out with COVID just 2 days before the event.  A mystery flu was sweeping the club (C-negative). There were even paddlers organising Tinder dates threatening to unravel our plans. Our now-25 looked dangerously like becoming 15. Paddlers were straggling into the accommodation all hours of the night. Chicki aged 20 years in one day, and at midnight before racing was seen pacing around the deck of her cabin muttering, tearing up sheets of configs and handwriting more on the back of toilet paper with the beloved Sharpie.  And then came the call with the really bad news ……

Matty & Shelley Gardiners’ flight was cancelled out of Canberra with 15 hours to go until Race 1. No replacement until Sunday night. You could have heard a pin drop in Adelaide.

However, woe betide the circumstance that stands between a Mako and their teammates on race day. In true Gardiner style, Matty & Shell loaded up on Red Bull and old-man disco beats, fuelled up the (thankfully new lane-drift-resistant) car and set out on a 12-hour road trip in a race against time. With social media abuzz and every club around the nation tuned in to their Amazing Race, the Gardiners came in hot with 15 mins to spare, dressed to race and to the standing ovation of the Champs. Now THAT is a story of stories, and epitomises what Mako mean to each other. Hats off guys, you have your respect and love forever.

Finding a Config for Grand Finals  

It is hard to find the words to describe what Mako did at Aus Champs. Noting the size and experience of our competition, the fact that a lot of large clubs dropped to 10s racing, or our club averages Senior B age, Mako expected to be knocked out at every repechage. To Chicki’s consternation (and delight) every crew, every distance, every day, made the Grand Final. Few knew the Coach could run so quickly as after the repechage victories when she realised she had not configged any Grand Final races as she expected to be knocked out “I can’t &^*(^&^&^ believe what guts, heart and trust this team have shown over the past two days. I could not have dreamed what I have just witnessed.”

The Art of the Repechage

For those not familiar with the Nationals Race format, the repechage is a knockout round if you don’t go straight through. For Mako, this also (as expected) became our home over the competition. Yet at every turn our green, but wildly enthusiastic, crew stepped up and won through to the Grand Finals. Truly extraordinary. One stood out for every attendee on course, the Women’s 10’s 500m Rep 2. The smallest and newest 10s crew in history, faced with the reality of bouncing out, looked each other in the eye and nodded. That was all it. Mako ladies blitzed the start and rampaged down course, under a swarm of challengers. Before our very eyes, with 75m to go, the crew transformed before our eyes into Amazons, lifted, changed, and would not give one inch. Their reward, the Premier Women’s final. Though small in stature, this crew are enormous in heart and guts.

Rookie Strokes

And to Angie and Courtney we are humbled by your talent. Gorgeous to look at, gorgeous by nature and gorgeous to watch on the water. To even stroke the last repechage through a torn rotator cuff and not miss one stroke is a feat indeed Angie. Ladies, you are wonderful.

The Salute

While it is customary for crews to salute the stands upon a victory, in true Mako form the boys went above and beyond. Unbeknownst to the ladies, our warrior-performance in our second 500m repechage was used by the lads to take into their final. Tapping into some of the #makomojo they ripped out an incredible race to place 4th in the country. To the delight and guffawing of the crowds on the pontoon, the salute was to their Mako ladies in respect. We love you lads.

Double Parked

While sweeping on JB might teach loads of skills, parking in pontoons is another story indeed. The spectators were in stiches laughing on Day 2 as Chicki somehow managed to park a dragon boat sideways between the finger wharves, with the crew 100% wedged and unable to move. The only solution was to snap the head off boat in a giant, wrenching blow, after which the crew merrily paddled headless down the 200m course and even made the Grand Final.

The Results

Numbers on a page can not reflect the performance of Mako at Aus Champs. Every number below has a story to tell, of heart, guts, brotherhood, women out paddling crews twice their size, injuries, illness, lactic vomit and screaming muscles. Every number below proves that this little club with the enormous heart can do absolutely anything.

Here’s the run-down of the races, and in our second season Mako now have a National ranking below:

Day 1 – 500m/2k

• Prem Mixed 20’s – 6^th 2:15.57
• Prem Women 10’s – 8^th 2:49.06
• Prem Men 10’s – 4^th 2:21.04
• Prem Mixed 20 2k – 4^th 10:35.21

Day 2 – 200m/2k

• Prem Mixed 20’s – 6^th 51.57
• Prem Women 10’s – 8^th 1.08.14
• Prem Men 10’s – 5^th 53.65
• Prem Men 10’s 2k – 5^th 11:49.38

Kudos

The thanks are too many to fit onto this page. For those who organised accommodation, transported paddles and equipment, dropped everything with 7 days’ notice to come and race, drove for 12 hours overnight, paddled while hurt or sick, came without partners, stayed home and cheered and filmed, thank you. To those who raced and cheered, who swept and drummed, who taped and massaged, who listened and nodded, who sweated and cried, who checked in on their mates or who went to the line. Thank you.

To our sponsor John West and Club Jervis Bay, we could not have travelled to represent you and our Bay without your support. Your sponsorship opened the door to allow us to travel and compete. We did you proud.

To Mako, the little club with the massive heart, OMG thank you.