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Far away in Jervis Bay where the water is a brilliant teal, the sun is always shining and dolphins splash playfully, a little white dragon boat club full of mainly old people excitedly packed their paddles, protein balls and umbrellas and set off on an adventure for the ages, the NSW State Dragon Boating Championships. It was rumoured to be one of the largest affairs on record, with the most competitive clubs fighting it out Thunder Dome style to see who was who.
In darkness and in sleeting rain, Mako gathered under the tent and watched while sweep Bear and drummer Annie strategised their 2000m plan, rumoured to be “don’t’ crash into anybody, or if so make it count”.
Spanners in the Works
There were some spanners thrown in the works that had Chicki’s right eye twitching; Janelle having to be innovative and provide a lap dance to an NRMA technician for a new battery, and Chez not being tall enough to go on the dragon boat ride.
AB did eventually show up (early for him) with a vision of beauty in tow, our newest family Bel-the-Bodacious, and boy was she ready to race.
So with the hiccups sorted out and Kez’s breakneck speed warm up underway, Mako took to the water with nerves, excitement and a whole lotta spunk.
2000m Racing
MIXED were up first and off like a firework. With some masterful turns and his usual Gandalf cry ringing out over the course “None Shall Pass” Bear drove the crew relentlessly and even overtook a couple of boats up the outside on the final leg. Time 9:45 and a 6th place in amongst the biggest of the big dogs. Nice.
OPENS: With 8 men only,12 pretty handy chicks, and all the usuals snapping at our heels, the crowd was on its feet marvelling at the sheer fluidity and rhythm of the crew. Time 9:32 and 12 seconds between 2nd and 6th . Well played lads and ladies.
LADIES ah ladies, how you capture our hearts.
With only 4 prems in the boat of Senior Bs, the ladies showed the spectators what technique, timing, and loads and loads of heart can do. In an upset of the ages, the gals pulled off Mako’s very first State Championship and it was such a pretty SILVER. Time 10:06.
Other Stuff
Loquacious Lads
Despite being yelled at to “shut UP” soooo many times, the Mako gents just did not take the hint. Talking non-stop through the pre-race briefing, the warm-up, the marshalling and the racing, Robert “Aldi” Stimson, AB and Sam were verbose and chatty, so much so that Andrew “Hobo” Glasson was seen covering his ears, rocking in the foetal position and chanting “la la laaaaa” to himself to drown out the noise. Keep it down lads, we can’t hear ourselves think.
Angie Humps a Pole
Light therapy is rumoured to be a remedy for ageing e’hem ladyparts, and Angie was keen to demo how best to apply to the ladies. Did it work Angie? She’s not telling…
Only Fans
Hmmm seems that not all onlookers were as keen on Karl and Sonja’s Only Fans site as others. What did you see Rob?
Gratuitous Groping
He’s not just a sex object Charlie, he is a person too!
500m Racing
Sunday gave up it’s share of surprises, a 60km wind, cut races, and some gratuitous butt-groping. Unbeknownst to most, our very own Jess moonlights as a DJ nights and was there to cut some beatz for us to keep us calm.
With the margin for error reduced, it was time to race straight line and see who could perform in the lactic zone. With only 1 round of racing to make it into a final, Mako Mixed had to score 1-2 in the heat to progress. Did we do it? Like hell we did. Great racing. Off to the Major Final where we ran a 2:08 and bagged a 4th place. GO Mako.
Opens were next and our talkative gents, all 8 of them, assisted by some feisty fillies, pulled a valiant effort against all male crews and while they didn’t make the final, they won the hearts of the crowd if the cheers and encouragement is anything to go by.
All eyes were on the women now, who pulled out the #makomama and nailed their heat, bagging a 2nd place and through to the Grand Final. Facing off against the most powerful Sydney clubs can be daunting for a smaller regional gang, but the ladies had focus, determination and steely aggression in their eyes. In a battle of the ages, with places changing the whole way up the course, our Mako ladies surged for home in a burst of heart and took out Bronze with a 2:19. Proud of you girls.
Annie was so overcome she was heard to utter a profanity completely out of keeping with her demure persuasion.
And so, like any medal presentation, one most have an inflatable Mako on hand to display our #makomojo and the heart, laughter and shenanigans that make us tick.
Nicknames
Many memories were made on this campaign, and a few nicknames given. Rumour has it the mafia were in town with Kerrie “2 Nose” Wilmot spotted alongside her enforcer, Elizabeth “The Finger” Brown. We won’t disclose your new one Angie 😉
Firsts
Huge kudos to our firsts. Rookies Sharon, Kaz, Katie, Brian and Bel, welcome to your Mako family and we hope you enjoyed racing with us. Hats off to you and hoping there’s many more.
Thanks
There are always so many thanks to give after an epic campaign like States. To our drummers, Babs, Annie & Ness; you know you are superstars. To sweeps Jess & Bear, without your combination of technical skills and leadership, the crew would not follow you or perform as they do. To those that quietly help out behind the scenes bringing equipment, checking up, checking in, helping out and wrangling cats, thank you. To Club Jervis Bay our amazing sponsor, without you we would not have a boat to train in or be able to train and race.
And to all Mako, ordinary people doing extraordinary things, you bring joy to so many. Thank YOU.
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