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This modern-day saga tells the tale of Mako Paddle Club, gently encouraged by their coach to embark on a quest to Middle Earth to wrestle dragon boats, have numerous pointless yet amusing adventures, be treated to the incredible hospitality of welcoming Kiwi whanau, and bask in the honour of paddling alongside New Zealand’s best crews, while making memories and friendships to last a lifetime.
The 2024 NZ Nationals expedition bought together fifty paddlers comprising two countries, four states, and twelve cubs. What unfolded over two days at Lake Karipiro will be etched in our memories and retold with less clarity each time over many drinks, but one thing will remain – the smiles that can’t be hidden when thinking of this incredible and unexpected adventure.
Stories from the Front
There are moments in every tour that surpass the on-water efforts that need to be addressed early and revisited often after the fact.
Let’s start with Fraser…
One of England’s greatest (and most celebrated by the Poms) exports packing a mane of Prince Farquhar like hair, fails to remember what room he is staying in and walks into another guests room to find an entangled couple in the throes of ecstasy. While many people would back out of this situation, as a worldly and helping kind of guy, Fraser stayed for another half an hour, providing some tips and directions to ensure the honeymooners started their marriage on the right foot. Rumours of Fraser being escorted from the premises by Police are currently unconfirmed as the investigation remains ongoing.
Then there’s Al…
Whenever a group tours there is inevitably many items misplaced, relocated, used by mistake and sometimes just plain lost. One of our intrepid paddlers, when not ripping up the racecourse in the engine room, managed to have a wide array of items in various states of location across the two days of racing. It would be remiss to name names but let’s just say there was a period of time on Day 2 when the event organisers renamed the Lost Property box to ‘Al’s Stuff.’
Confidence in sweeps
Such was the confidence in our four sweeps’ supreme abilities, Safety Coordinator Heidi ‘Middle-Leg’ Graham initiated Mako protocols swiftly to mitigate risk and dress appropriately for such dangerous international activity.
1, 2, 8, 4, 5, 6, 7, 3, 9, 10….
Boat loading outwardly appears to be a relatively simple task. There are printed config sheets and a boat that clearly has a head and drummer at the front, and a tail and sweep at the back.
Enter the Mako Snappy dynamic seat 8 combo now collectively known as Forrest (Simon) Forrest (Ben) Gump. Sweep and drummers loaded – check. Seat 8…..not quite a check. Enter the Gump’s as they load themselves into Seat 2, take their seats facing the wrong way, get settled and look up to see not Janita, but Kiwi, standing eight seats away. The good news was, that once we relocated the Gump’s, they went off like a firecracker in the next race as the Snappy crew laid down their best run to take their place in the Premier Open A Final.
GJ gets some work done
And in a classic GJ twist, after an altercation with the pavement on Saturday night, he emerged from the Waikato Plastic Surgery Centre a new man… behold the before and after shots. Well played GJ, well played.
Pulp Fiction in Cambridge
Ben cuts up the dance floor with moves envied by John Travolta.
The Two Epic Races
There were two races that will stick in our memories forever. One of them on water, with Mako Motu rampaging down 500m neck and neck with Southern Dragons to win by 0.04sec.
The other was Mako Motu -v- Mako Mojo. There’s nothing better than racing each other. The result is still being challenged and debated to this day. We’ll let the viewer decide.
Racing stuff
Oh yeah, and the racing stuff. With 6 crews each day, Chicki was running around like a headless chook and the sharpies were in full utilisation. Over 2000m, 500m and 200m, Mako represented Australia with pride and professionalism, thrilled to make top 4 in A Finals, win B Finals and by gosh you should have seen the celebration on the ladies Mako Havoc crew when they smashed out a Silver in the C Final! We were pumped. Results were off the charts impressive, and the NZ Crews were a little surprised by the punch in the little white club from JB.
There were races of Mako -v- Mako in A and B Finals where no-one can remember the results.
The opens crews were swapping strokes and seats, sweeps and drummers often, and racing up a storm no matter what was thrown at them.
and Mako Mojo flew in fresh strokes Day 2, and absolutely smashed out their 500m racing. The crowds lining the shore were on their feet cheering and the screams of delight from drummer Rach echoed off the distant mountains.
Mates Old and New
The highlight of any international Mako campaign is always the satisfaction of racing with old friends, and the joy of paddling with new ones. To our friends over the ditch, Ricki, GJ, Clive, Steve, Barnsey, Thomas & Trini, we say Ki ā tātou hoa, teina, tuāhine, mihi nui ki tō koutou hoa, ā, ki te whakapai hoki i te hari ki a Mako.
To our much loved Beasties, how much fun it was to paddle together again and have more adventures.
To our liquorice all-sorts from all over the shop, whether it be out of retirement, or taking a quick break before Aus Nationals, we thank you all and hope you had a blast Mako-style in our latest shenanigans.
…and as the sun slowly set over the racecourse, the marquees empty, the breeze rippling over Lake Karapiro, the only sounds heard through the twilight stillness was the mournful cry of the Ghost of Al calling out “has anyone seen my paddle?” destined to wander the hills forever.
Thank you to Brooke, Andrew, Deb and all the gang at NZDBA for a wonderful event, brilliant racing and life-long friendships between Mako and the NZ clubs.
